The scene opens with Chuck thinking about his close encounter with death. He had never really thought about dying before. This was new to him even after all of the missions that he had been on. Even when he thought that he and Sarah were going to die from the bomb, but when Sarah had kissed him all of that fear had went away.
He had always believed that Sarah and even Casey would be there to keep him safe. His mind wondered back to the time him and Jill had been together and that they had waited for so long thinking that there was plenty of time to decide their future. A future that he now knows was cut short. There is never a guarantee that there will be another day with the person that you love. His thoughts are broken up when he hears the NSA agent start talking to him.
agent: you are very lucky. You should really be more careful about what you are doing. ( he is giving Chuck a disapproving look.) I would really think hard about how close you came to dying tonight. If it were not for Agent Walker and Agent Caseys quick thinking you would probably be dead now.
You see Chuck walking down a street where several gang members are watching him. You can tell that they are sizing him up to either rob or shoot him for being in their hood. Chuck is completely oblivious to everything around him as he is deep in thought. The agent had parked the car that Casey had sent him to bring to Chuck a bit further down the street. They were still walking towards it while they were talking
Chuck: I know that I am no agent, but I am not going to just set there either. I thought that it was the honorable thing to do by walking away. ( Chuck is staring the agent right in the eyes looking for some understanding)
agent: There is not honor in dying, especially when you have a chance to get away alive! Agent Casey and Agent Walker risked their lives tonight to save you. I don't think it is a good way to repay their efforts.
Chuck: Yea, I thought that they would not find me in time. I had to act and I don't know where I got the courage to do any of it. What do you mean by that? What am I doing that is wrong? How am I not being part of the team?
agent: Walking alone in Compton is being part of the team? How is that helping your team. Life is short, don't make it even shorter. I would go home and really think about how to best help your team.
Chuck: Thanks for the talk but I think I have had enough for one day. Now where is the car I requested?
Chuck realizes that the agent was talking about what he was doing now and not about what happened earlier. He gets into the car the agent provides and starts to drive home. Chuck starts to think about what he has in his life now and his thoughts go to his family. He thinks about Elle and that she has Devon so he knows that she would be taken care of. Then he thinks about Morgan and how he has Anna now and that has taken some of the pressure of always having to entertain Morgan.
He now recalls that Morgan doesn't come around nearly as much as he did several months ago. Then Chuck starts to think about who he really has to be with in Real life. He always goes back to Sarah, but her words ring loudly in his mind. “It is for the job” , “ you are my asset and it is common to feel that there is a connection when there really isn't”. He still believes that Sarah feels the same for him but how can he be sure. He felt that him and Jill would be forever and look how that turned out.
He was truly afraid that he would die, before he was able to really be with Sarah. There was a deep sadness in him now as he was sure that she would use the 'Job' excuse again, but he had to make her understand that this was a turning point and there may be no turning back in the future.
You hear a loud horn causing he to yank the car back into the correct lane. He winces as the pain in his shoulder brought him back to reality. The medication that the EMT had given him had kicked in, but he knew he had to push the physical pain out of his mind and get ready for the emotional pain. He has made up his mind on where he wants the relationship to go and if she doesn't want to agree, then there will have to be a decision on stay with this team or move on. He heads back to Sarah and Casey which are wrapping up with the cleanup crew. Chuck gets back out of the car and walks over to Sarah.
Chuck: Sarah, I need to talk to you please. ( he can see Sarah looking at this shoulder and then back to his eyes.
Sarah: Chuck can we do this later please. You need to rest.
She is looking into Chucks eyes and can see that there is something different. That he has made a decision . She needs time to let him and her regroup their thoughts before talking any further.
Chuck: No Sarah we need to talk now while things are fresh in my mind. I would rather not do this in front of Casey if you don't mind.
Chuck is standing firm and straight. He is not his normal meek self. Casey notices that Chuck is serious and this is not normal for him. He really wants to listen in on their conversation, but is not in a position to do that at the moment.
Sarah: Ok Chuck, lets go over here so that we can talk.
She walks over to a spot out of earshot of anyone being able to hear them. She tries not to look Chuck in the eyes as she is not sure she wants to hear what is coming.
Chuck: Sarah, I know that I don't always do what you ask. I just want to help and be more than just the guy that can give you intel on a case. I truly want to feel a part of the team and yes I know that what I do is very important but I want to be there for you. ( he is looking her in the eyes trying to get her to understand without having to say it)
Sarah: But you are a part of the team and I have explained that it is my job to protect you and we cannot afford to let you get hurt.
She knows that he is trying to say he wants to be there for her not just for the team. She doe not want to get into this discussion after seeing him tortured by Marco.
Chuck: Ok, I see that I am going to have to just say it again. I love you Sarah and you know it. I have had a few relationships some of them ending pretty badly. I know there are risks with any relationship, but I almost died today. All I could think about was what I was leaving behind. What I had done with my life and what I wished that I do before I die. Sarah, I don't want to die any more than anyone else but in this job it is a possibility and even probable if Fulcrum catches me. Even without Fulcrum I came closer to dying than any other time!
I look and see that Elle has Devon and even Morgan has Anna, but I only have this strange relationship with you. I fell for you and thought I was over it when I met Lou. Then we had the Kiss and that all changed again. I keep hanging in there to see if we will ever become a real couple and I don't mind that I could die from it, but at least we would have had some real time together. Do you understand what I am say here Sarah?
Sarah: Chuck, I have told you that the type of feelings are common. We have to pretend to be a couple for the job. It is just the way it has to be.
Chuck: NO IT DOES NOT! ( then lowering his voice as he sees Casey suddenly look their way) There is a connection between us Sarah and I need to know if you are willing to get involved again. I know Bryce hurt you and that you keep reminding yourself that you cannot let it happen again. You know that I am not Bryce and that when I fall in love it is for real. I don't hold back and I sure wont leave you while I have a single breath in me.
Sarah: That is the problem Chuck, If we were to have a real relationship, I don't know that it wont effect my judgement and get you killed!
Chuck: I cannot keep going on with you like this Sarah. I need you to tell me now. I have come to a decision and after today I need to know what to do next. I love you Sarah and I need to know if you love me. I can deal with dying as long as I know that we had something special before that happens.
There are some things worth taking a chance on and love is one of them. Please tell me the truth Sarah and don't use an excuse. I need to know, night, now. I need to know that I am not just an object to you. ( There is a longing in his eyes and Sarah can see that this is not his normal request but a decision that could end everything for all of them.)
Sarah: Chuck, I just cannot answer that question now. There are too many complications.
She is trying her best to not make a decision and you see her backing towards Casey to try and escape before Chuck makes her say something that she may regret forever. She begins to feel that if she gives the wrong answer that Chuck will either pull away from her for good or look to be reassigned to another team.
Chuck: Sarah, this is my last word on this. We will have to see what happens after that. You need to either Say you will be with me for real or that we are just teammates from now on. ( you hear the song start in the background as Chuck is waiting for his answer. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbFxaqyHGxo&feature=related )
Sarah sees that Chuck has already made up his mind of what he will do and she must decide if she wants to be with Chuck or pass up on what could be the love of her life. She knows that this is the turning point and there is no going back.
Sarah: Chuck, I cannot give you and answer right now. Can we please talk about this later.
Chuck: ( staring her straight in the eye) I think you just gave me your answer. I will have to think on where we go from here.
Chuck walks off and straight past everyone and gets into the car and drives off. Chuck picks up the phone and leaves a message with Elle that he needs some time to himself and will not be home for a few days.
Casey: well you really screwed up this time Agent Walker. I think you may have just made the biggest mistake of your life. As much as I hate to admit it, he is right for you, but now you may never know. ( Sarah turns sharply and looks at Casey)
Sarah: I think your right Casey, but I don't know how to tell him. If I do then I would become compromised as well. Either way I lose.
Casey: Well all you have to do is Say it Sarah. There is nothing hard about it and you are already compromised and we both know it. The only thing is that you seem to work better and are more alert in this case. I guess love will do that to you. I don't think that Chuck could be any safer than he is with you around him.
The scene switches back to Chuck driving off in the NSA car. His is very deep in though and almost runs into the car in front of him. He turns off and heads north towards the coast to get some fresh air. As he is taking the turns he is driving faster and faster. He is not really paying attention to the road and suddenly runs into a sharp curve. He slams the car into the side of the road and starts spinning around coming to a halt near the edge of the cliff.
Again he thinks about almost dying and how close he came to it without anyone to really care for him. There is no Jill and now there seems to be no Sarah. He knows that he still has his family and friends, but that is not enough for him tonight. The conversation starts playing over again in his head and a song starts playing on the radio. It seems to be fitting for the situation. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIG5wU0EhCc and he feels like the day he had to leave Stanford was no where near as hurtful as he feels right now. He drives the car to the beach and gets out and sits on the sand. He has made a decision and it is time for him to disappear for a while till he gets his head together.
The hurt that he feel and the emptiness and longing for something that will never be has taken its toll on him. He wonders how their life would have been and how many kids that they would have had. Maybe Sarah did not want kids but Chuck wanted to have a family and do a better job of it than his family had. Maybe Sarah would have left them for the spy life. He knows how if feels to have a mother leave since his own mother left them when they were young. He still wishes that he could have been with Sarah even if it was only for a little while. Chuck takes off his watch and tosses it into the car. He knows that they will be tracking the car and the watch. The you see Chuck get up and start walking along the beach.
The scene goes to Sarah now as she has just gotten to her apartment. She puts away all of her weapons and needs to take a shower to clear her thoughts. She turns on the shower and she thinks back to her and Chucks conversation. How he was so serious and determined to get an answer out of her. They had been in many life and death situations, but this one seem to be different for Chuck. It was a way of life for Sarah, but had this last one put Chuck over the edge? Would he really ask for another team if she could not tell him that she cared for him?
You see Sarah in the shower still thinking. The water is running over her head and shoulders trying to relieve the tension that she is feeling now. Her thoughts go back to Chuck even though she is trying to put it out of her mind. She begins to remember all of the good times that they have had together. The first time she talked to him and he was very kind to the father and daughter, then the time they spend in her hotel room where he just wanted to know one single real thing about her.
Now that she thinks about it, it was really not much to ask. He already had all of her secrets locked up in his head. The time that he told her how beautiful she was under the truth serum. She knew that he was telling the truth at that time even though she did not. The time they were in the trunk, even though she was angry at him he was still the gentleman and show his jealousy for her. Then the kiss that they shared just before she thought they were going to die. All of the times that she had spent with Chuck and his family and how they had taken her in with open arms.
Suddenly she felt as if she may have just lost Chuck for good. There would be no more smiles that were disarming and genuine. No more silly times and complete trust in her. No more working with him again and if he were to ask for a reassignment, than she would not even be able to see him again even if she wanted to. ( you hear the song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_69WxDsTSO8 starts playing in the background)
She realizes that it is better to take a chance at a real relationship than to live a life with a hole in her heart. She never felt this way with Bryce and that hits her even harder. If she did not feel this with Bryce then how is she going to deal with this when Chuck is gone. She gets out of the shower in a hurry and tries to call Chuck, but the phone goes straight to voicemail.
Sarah: Come on Chuck pick up! ( she calls a few more times and still no answer. She then calls his home and Elle answers)
Elle: Hi
Sarah: Hi Elle, can I speak to Chuck please?
Elle: I am sorry Sarah but Chuck is not home. I assume that you too had a fight as he left me a cryptic message that he needed time to think. That is not like Chuck at all. I hate to interfere but did you and Chuck break up? I have not hear him this depressed since him and Jill broke up. If there is anything that I can do please let me know because you too are perfect for each other.
Sarah: We had a fight, but I did not think it was this serious. What did he say exactly?
Elle: He said that he needed time for himself and that he will be gone for a few days.
Sarah: do you know where he might have went? It is important that I talk to him and he is not answering his phone?
She is hoping that Elle may know where she could start looking and just then she sees that Casey is calling her.
Elle: No Sarah, he has never said that to me before! I am a bit worried for him as well. If you hear from him will you let me know?
Sarah: Yes, I will call and let you know as soon as I talk to him.
Elle: Thanks. Cya Sarah, I need to answer the door now. ( hears a knock at the door)
Sarah: Cya. ( she switches over to Casey) Hello Casey I was just about to call you.
Casey: Are you with Chuck? I am looking for him and he did not come back to his house.
Sarah: No I have not seen him either. I just talked to Elle and she said he left a message that he was going to be gone for a few days. We need to find him!
Casey: It is even more important than that Sarah. The alert went off in his car so he must have been in an accident. I am tracking him and his car has been stopped for several hours now. We need to get to him asap. He left before the medication may have kicked in and cause him to wreck. This is not good Walker. What did you say to him?
Sarah: I am on my way to pick you up, be outside in 5 minutes. ( she picks up her keys and heads out the door)
The scene pans back to Chuck and he has walked several miles up the coast now. He has shed all of the tracking devices that he had on him and just wants to get lost for a few days till he can clear his head. You hear the song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KL_fgWgK40 playing in the background. He is not worried about them dragging him off to some underground bunker now. They would have to catch him first and at this point what difference does it make. He no longer has anything or anyone to look forward to seeing. It is just him and no one else and he knows he cannot count on Sarah to be able to help this time.
Casey: Agent Walker, I need to know what you said to him. You do realize that he was in a very fragile state today. ( you can see his eyes are ablaze with anger) There is no telling what he may do if you said the wrong thing.
Sarah: He kept pressing me for a decision on our relationship and I told him I could not give him an answer. It is the same thing I have been telling him since the beginning.
Casey: Way to go Agent Walker. Did you not learn anything from the last time you did not reveal your feelings to Chuck. You lost him to Lou, only to win him back in time for Bryce to show up. Then you stay around even though we all know that you could have gone with Bryce and gotten someone else for this assignment.
Sarah: I never meant to feel this way Casey. I sure don't want to lose him because I would have to compromise myself and tell him how I really feel either. Then I would have you getting me reassigned. What good would it do for me or Chuck then. ( you can see the conflict in her eyes and the cracking of her voice)
Casey: ( in a softer voice than anyone would ever expect) Sarah, you are already compromised just like I said earlier today. But you don't let that get in the way and are very professional when doing your job. I would not be so heartless as to have you reassigned as long as you kept doing your job.
If it were to ever interfere with your job, then you would have to make the decision on either staying with the CIA and being reassigned or leaving the CIA and having that family that you asked me about. At some point we all have to make that decision Sarah and we hope that it is not made for us by a bullet.
Sarah: Doing my job and protecting Chuck are the only two things I have in my life Casey. How can I chose? I love them both, I mean I love my job and protecting Chuck.
Casey: (you hear a loud grunt )Yea right. Don't treat me like an idiot and I wont treat you like one even though you are in this case. You need to quit Chuck or be straight with him. If not you have already lost.
You see Sarah speed up as they are heading towards the blip on the screen that Casey has in his hands. It takes them about an hour to get to the car that Chuck had left on the beach. As they start searching it for any sign of foul play, Sarah sees blood on the seat. It is about the location of his wound earlier today and she realizes that it must have started bleeding again. Casey examines the front end where the damage to the car is and determines that Chuck must have hit the side of the road at some point and this is not due to foul play.
He believes that Chuck is just upset and must have not been paying attention. Just as he was about to walk over to the passenger side he sees the watch laying on the dashboard.
Casey: ( reaches in and grabs the watch) Bang up job Walker! He left his watch behind. That is the only way to track him unless he uses his phone!
Just as he says that Sarah picks up Chucks phone that had fallen between the seats. You see Sarah really start to panic. A thousand things are going through her head. Was he really just clearing his head or was he making a run for it. If he did run, then there was no way to keep him out of a bunker and she could forget about ever seeing him again. Especially since she was the cause of all of this trouble.
Sarah: Just great, I don't get involved and I still end up losing him. I am such an idiot, I could have been enjoying a real relationship and at least been able have that for while it lasted.
Casey: yep, I agree with the idiot part. Do you really think that handlers have not gotten involved with assets to keep them in line before? How many times have you had a relationship with you mark just to get what you needed from them. The only reason that you have been putting off Chuck is that you don't want to take a chance ever since what happened to Bryce and you. And people wonder why I am the way I am.
Sarah: what do we do now? We have taps on Elle's phones and now we need them on Morgan's phone incase Chuck calls him. We have got to get him back before anyone finds out. We cannot put this out to anyone as Fulcrum will be watching for anything suspicious. A man hunt for him would alert Fulcrum that Chuck is the intersect and that is no good for anyone.
Casey: We will put off telling Graham and Beckman till we can find Chuck. They would either order his termination or put him in a padded cell for the next 20 years. Either way we both lose.
Sarah: He could not have gotten far. Lets search up the beach since there are nothing but rocks and cliffs south.
Casey: well if he went south then we can pretty much conclude that he is dead. ( this puts a worried look on Sarah's face as they head north)
The scene switches to a shot of Chuck and he is very tired. He finds a spot up off the beach for him to lay down and rest. The wound in his shoulder had been bleeding and he was a bit weaker than he had realized. The thoughts of what to do next had kept him moving and he did not notice any pain. He lays down on the ground and pulls his coat over him. You hear the song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60x5FHpwY8g&feature=related playing in the background. Before he is aware of it he is fast asleep.
A car is traveling up the beach and drives right past him. If he had been awake he may have noticed that Casey and Sarah were in the car. After they had driven as far up the beach as they could, they head off back to Casey's apartment. Casey had called in a cleanup crew to take care of the car that Chuck had left behind.
You see Casey and Sarah enter his apartment and start bringing up all of his computer equipment. He starts logging on to tap Morgan's and Anna's phone in case Chuck calls them. He then begins a trace on all of Chuck's credit cards and bank accounts to see if or when he uses them. Now all they can do is sit back and hope that Chuck uses one of them.
Casey: you had better hope that no missions come up before we find Chuck! If one does all of this is over and you and I both will be on the chopping block. Either way we will have to do something to make sure that Chuck never gets into this position again. ( he is staring holes into Walker)
Sarah: I know Casey, I know. I just hope we find him soon. I don't want to lose him.
Casey: As an asset or as a boyfriend? ( Sarah doesn't answer Casey. She knows he already has the answer to that and hopes he doesn't use it against her)
End of Part I
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything related to Chuck. No characters, no plots, no themes, no nothing. Enjoy! Just ask if you use any part of it that a simple acknowledgement is given. ^)
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